Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
The "Right" America
After viewing the HBO documentary, "The Right America," I was stunned and amazed at how backwards America is. The documentary highlights opinions of McCain/Palin supporters prior to the 2008 Presidential Election. There are so many racist comments and beliefs expressed, as well as misplaced beliefs. Many of the self-proclaimed "rednecks"were under the impression that Obama is pro-socialism, however, when asked what socialism was they had no idea. Why must we continue to pull and pull in the wrong direction, trying to work toward the wrong goals, being stubborn and stuck in our past lives? It's 2009 people...WAKE UP!
Although slavery does not exist legally, we continue to voluntarily sign ourselves up for labor. Black, white, blue, purple--color is obsolete. We all continue to hold onto ideals of our forefathers that are irrelevant to the present. We can't be anti-foreigners because America was built on immigration. We can't continue to see in black in white because our country is so mixed and encompasses more diversity than some of us can handle. Skin color cannot continue to be a deterrent and definition of an individual. No one person or type is better than another. Unfortunately, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s ideals about humanity will probably never fully come to pass--someone will always vehemently believe that they are superior and deserve more opportunities than another person based on their group orientations.
What is the "right" America? Will America ever be fully right?
Although slavery does not exist legally, we continue to voluntarily sign ourselves up for labor. Black, white, blue, purple--color is obsolete. We all continue to hold onto ideals of our forefathers that are irrelevant to the present. We can't be anti-foreigners because America was built on immigration. We can't continue to see in black in white because our country is so mixed and encompasses more diversity than some of us can handle. Skin color cannot continue to be a deterrent and definition of an individual. No one person or type is better than another. Unfortunately, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s ideals about humanity will probably never fully come to pass--someone will always vehemently believe that they are superior and deserve more opportunities than another person based on their group orientations.
What is the "right" America? Will America ever be fully right?
Friday, July 31, 2009
"How did you find your way..."
If you know Kem, then you know the rest of the song. Have you ever been in love? Have you ever allowed yourself to truly be loved? The moment we believe that we are in control, we quickly realize that this is not the case, especially in matters of the heart. The heart tends to lead us to new and old, pastimes and persons.
It is often difficult for us to love ourselves and to fully forgive our own mistakes and transgressions. Once we permit ourselves to enter into our own hearts and love again, we also open the doors of our hearts to love in its most awesome form—agape love that is. Agape love passes all understanding and has no color lines—no boundaries.
According to theorists, there are six types of love: eros, ludus, storge, pragma, mania, and agape. Many people continue to subject themselves to the wrong type of love. The classic "break-up to make-up" kind of love, also referred to as mania; if there’s no drama present then it seems as though the love is missing. At times it becomes so embedded within our psyche that we find ourselves chanting Destiny’s Child’s “I’m through with it love!” We constantly put ourselves in unhealthy, unstable situations and relationships where we feel obliged to make it work because he or she is a good man or a good woman. The pertinent question is by whose standards?
Many of us idolize love and the institution of marriage, constantly searching for the man or woman of our dreams. By so doing, we never allow ourselves to seek what we really deserve and desire; most importantly, we tend to disregard what we really need. Love and marriage are not toys that can be played with in their prime and later placed on a shelf to collect dust when one or both parties become bored with love and or marriage. Indeed, marriage is something that is serious and ever-changing. American society has caused us to believe that we should expect an undesirable outcome and therefore we except mediocrity. Fifty percent of American marriages end in divorce—this is not a coincidence.
Are we ready to work? At the age of her early to mid-twenties, a woman is perceived to be in her prime. After her twenty-fifth birthday, she quickly becomes “Christmas cake,” as the Japanese would say; who wants Christmas cake after December 25th? It’s old, it’s used, and therefore it’s not as desired. Should this be the standard? Why do people wait to marry older? Does it really matter if two people love each other at a younger age and decided to commit their lives to each other under the covenant of God? Some would argue the alternative is better; it is better for a young person to date around and explore what he or she likes.
If a young woman or man happens to be blessed to find their love, their partner at an earlier age, they should allow their heart to love while the love is alive. Unfortunately, due to cultural preferences and what is emphasized, many young adults decide to pass on agape love and later settle for mediocrity and potentially divorce. Young people should allow themselves to love others and to fall completely in love—with the right person of course. Fortunately, there is hope. “If you love something, let it go; if it comes back it’s yours; if it doesn’t, it never was.” If you happen to find love and go toward what society promotes, which is to pursue your individuality, when you wake up from the madness, your blessing of love can and will be revealed if you allow it to be. Open your heart up to love again--love for your family, your friends and your significant other.
Love is kind. Love is gentle. Love harder. Love smarter. Embrace love—or the spirit will die.
It is often difficult for us to love ourselves and to fully forgive our own mistakes and transgressions. Once we permit ourselves to enter into our own hearts and love again, we also open the doors of our hearts to love in its most awesome form—agape love that is. Agape love passes all understanding and has no color lines—no boundaries.
According to theorists, there are six types of love: eros, ludus, storge, pragma, mania, and agape. Many people continue to subject themselves to the wrong type of love. The classic "break-up to make-up" kind of love, also referred to as mania; if there’s no drama present then it seems as though the love is missing. At times it becomes so embedded within our psyche that we find ourselves chanting Destiny’s Child’s “I’m through with it love!” We constantly put ourselves in unhealthy, unstable situations and relationships where we feel obliged to make it work because he or she is a good man or a good woman. The pertinent question is by whose standards?
Many of us idolize love and the institution of marriage, constantly searching for the man or woman of our dreams. By so doing, we never allow ourselves to seek what we really deserve and desire; most importantly, we tend to disregard what we really need. Love and marriage are not toys that can be played with in their prime and later placed on a shelf to collect dust when one or both parties become bored with love and or marriage. Indeed, marriage is something that is serious and ever-changing. American society has caused us to believe that we should expect an undesirable outcome and therefore we except mediocrity. Fifty percent of American marriages end in divorce—this is not a coincidence.
Are we ready to work? At the age of her early to mid-twenties, a woman is perceived to be in her prime. After her twenty-fifth birthday, she quickly becomes “Christmas cake,” as the Japanese would say; who wants Christmas cake after December 25th? It’s old, it’s used, and therefore it’s not as desired. Should this be the standard? Why do people wait to marry older? Does it really matter if two people love each other at a younger age and decided to commit their lives to each other under the covenant of God? Some would argue the alternative is better; it is better for a young person to date around and explore what he or she likes.
If a young woman or man happens to be blessed to find their love, their partner at an earlier age, they should allow their heart to love while the love is alive. Unfortunately, due to cultural preferences and what is emphasized, many young adults decide to pass on agape love and later settle for mediocrity and potentially divorce. Young people should allow themselves to love others and to fall completely in love—with the right person of course. Fortunately, there is hope. “If you love something, let it go; if it comes back it’s yours; if it doesn’t, it never was.” If you happen to find love and go toward what society promotes, which is to pursue your individuality, when you wake up from the madness, your blessing of love can and will be revealed if you allow it to be. Open your heart up to love again--love for your family, your friends and your significant other.
Love is kind. Love is gentle. Love harder. Love smarter. Embrace love—or the spirit will die.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
The Cost of Education...
Many high school seniors and recent college graduates are taking the time to ponder the value of their education. What exactly does a Bachelor's degree afford you in today's job market? Students are beginning to rethink the stereotype or dream that a Bachelor's degree from an accredited university will at minimum allow them to obtain a job making a salary of at least $35,000 and living on their own--bachelor or bachelorette style. These days, you'd be considered lucky to land this expected position after graduating college.
A typical traditional college education can cost thousands of dollars--some students pay $100,000 plus. Many students are forced and encouraged to make an investment in themselves and fund their education through pricey student loans. The question is, who really takes the time to read the "terms of agreement" on their promissory notes? Students need and desire financial freedom and liberties, so in exchange they liberally sign the dotted line. It is not as likely as in the past for students to work their way through college. Students are anxious to get what many like to call "free money" from the government. Unfortunately, a lot of that "free money" comes with a high toll to pay post graduation. (It is important to note that some money is indeed free if it is need-based, the problem is, a lot of students are not eligible for this type of aid.)
The loans and promissory notes seem minuscule until the bills and required payments start coming in the mail, over the phone, or flooding your email inbox. While $35,000 might have seemed like a great starting salary, it quickly begins to be taken over by bills--loans, credit card debit, expensive cell phone bills, etc... The dream of "living large" rapidly fades into the distance. Graduates begin to wonder, was it worth it? Some graduates experience feelings of resentment toward their prestigious universities due to the lack of valuable compensation and worth in their occupation(s). If they desire to quit their jobs it becomes almost impossible to get out as a result of constant bills flowing in. How can a recent graduate fully pursue his or her dream job if they are consumed with bills? This leads to a lack of creativity and a bleak road to happiness.
How can we combat the current economical conditions? How can we overcome our fears and follow the paths of our dreams in 2009?
Here are some tips for budget management and developing an action plan for happiness:
A typical traditional college education can cost thousands of dollars--some students pay $100,000 plus. Many students are forced and encouraged to make an investment in themselves and fund their education through pricey student loans. The question is, who really takes the time to read the "terms of agreement" on their promissory notes? Students need and desire financial freedom and liberties, so in exchange they liberally sign the dotted line. It is not as likely as in the past for students to work their way through college. Students are anxious to get what many like to call "free money" from the government. Unfortunately, a lot of that "free money" comes with a high toll to pay post graduation. (It is important to note that some money is indeed free if it is need-based, the problem is, a lot of students are not eligible for this type of aid.)
The loans and promissory notes seem minuscule until the bills and required payments start coming in the mail, over the phone, or flooding your email inbox. While $35,000 might have seemed like a great starting salary, it quickly begins to be taken over by bills--loans, credit card debit, expensive cell phone bills, etc... The dream of "living large" rapidly fades into the distance. Graduates begin to wonder, was it worth it? Some graduates experience feelings of resentment toward their prestigious universities due to the lack of valuable compensation and worth in their occupation(s). If they desire to quit their jobs it becomes almost impossible to get out as a result of constant bills flowing in. How can a recent graduate fully pursue his or her dream job if they are consumed with bills? This leads to a lack of creativity and a bleak road to happiness.
How can we combat the current economical conditions? How can we overcome our fears and follow the paths of our dreams in 2009?
Here are some tips for budget management and developing an action plan for happiness:
- Purchase a monthly calendar and devote it to bills: highlight your payment due dates and keep tract of whether or not you paid each bill. You can also keep track of your saving on this calendar.
- Keep track of where your money is going. Try tracking your spending for a month and see where you're wasting dollars. Did you really need to buy new shoes three times that month? Figure out which areas you're wasting the most money in and create a plan to decrease your wastefulness in the next cycle/month.
- Contact your loan companies and request a graduated payment schedule. This will allow you to have lower monthly payments for usually a year. Please note that the payment amounts will increase over time.
- Take time out to map your career goals: where are you now? Where do you want to be in a year? Five years? What do you need to do to get there?
- Take time to explore your passion(s) in your spare time--instead of filling every spare moment with television, volunteer in your community, take a community college course to explore a different language or an art form that interests you.
- Do you need to go back to school? More loans may not sound appeasing, however, maybe you could really tap into your specialization and gain more marketability.
Friday, August 1, 2008
Endangered Species...
Being black in America has never been an easygoing life—there has always been some form of an epidemic killing the population by the masses. In the 1930’s and 1980's it was syphilis; in the new millennium it’s the HIV/AIDS virus. Black Americans are often portrayed as over sexualized beings and the transmission of sexually transmitted infections seems to support this negative portrayal.
According to the New York Times, approximately 600,000 African-Americans are living with HIV and up to 30,000 are being infected each year. “If black America were a country, it would rank 16th in the world in the number of people living with the AIDS virus, the Black Institute says,” (New York Times, 7/30/08). Why are African-Americans being more affected by the virus than the general population? Are sexual habits really that different than those of European, Asian, Hispanic, or Indian decent? Is drug use/needle-sharing really a large contributor to the transmission of the virus within the black community? The numbers are staggering and ever-climbing.
Did you know that the U.S. government donates funds to fifteen countries around the world, including Ethiopia, Rwanda, Vietnam, and Haiti through an anti-AIDS program? Meanwhile, more blacks are living with AIDS than seven of the fifteen countries receiving aid from the U.S. government. There is something totally wrong with this picture. Kanye West said, “Bush hates black people,” but do we love ourselves? If we did, we would be fighting for our politicians to put this community epidemic on the agenda for change and funding. How can we help ourselves?
1. (Actively) Practice SAFE sex.
2. Call your girlfriends or your crew out on their failure to practice safe sex.
3. Educate yourself and your friends: search the Internet for information, see how other countries are tackling the AIDS epidemic and adopt some of their practices or demand that our government do so.
4. Most importantly, KNOW YOUR STATUS! Get tested every six months (that’s twice a year) even if your not sexually active all year round. There are plenty of places that offer FREE and quick testing.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
In the Presence of Greatness!
While in our nation's capitol, greatness has surrounded my every move. A couple of days ago, I was given the opportunity to sit inside Senator Obama's office in the Capitol Building and it was breathtaking to say the least. I was surrounded by his family photos, photos of Senator Obama and other monumental persons, such as Nelson Mandela, and artwork that illustrated his personality and values. A person's personal space encompasses elements of their family life, and interests--you really get a peak into the human element of a person that many admire and even idolize. How did Senator Obama achieve the heights of greatness? How does it feel to be in his shoes?
Being in the presence of greatness forces one to think of how surprising life consistently proves itself to be. Every single day, people like you and me are faced with opportunities of a lifetime. We can either choose to take advantage of those opportunities or we can be hesitant and purposely or mistakenly remove ourselves from the spotlight. It's more than okay to shine. As women, and as people, we should support each other and motivate each other to do more than we would push ourselves to accomplish.
Senator Obama did not become the Democratic Presidential Nominee on his own--people supported him and pushed him along the way. We need to learn to support and push our peers to be excellent in all that they do. Let go of your personal pride and stop sipping that Haterade. When another woman shines you should cheer because we are in this together. If another brother or sister graduates or is faced with the opportunity of an excellent position with a company out of this world, we should be their cheerleaders. You never know---we could be grooming the next community lawyer, doctor, educator, researcher, designer, or even the next president of the United States.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
"Plan B"
Back in the day, if one of my friends mentioned subscribing to "Plan B," I would've swore up and down that they just left Planned Parenthood and had to take the pill because they failed to take the necessary precautions the first time around. "Plan B" was always described as something scary--why couldn't you get it right the first time? Why didn't you prepare and plan for Plan A to be successful?
As we get older and wiser, for most of us, having a "Plan B" is a necessity in life and a key to success. With the recent recession and America's economic troubles, anyone without a "Plan B" is more than likely doomed. Many of us go through life determined to achieve our goals and be successful in everything that we do. We graduate college, move on to the next hurdle, whether that be graduate school, applying for graduate school, starting a new "glamorous" job, or searching for the glamour, or just plain dead-ended. Sometimes, after Plan A doesn't work out, then it's time to embark on "Plan B," or define what that next plan will be.
Although "Plan B" can still be a scary thing, it's better to have multiple plans than none at all. The unknown is always difficult for us to accept because it's unmarked territory. Ask yourself, "What are my plans?" "What are all the ways I can get from point A to point B?" Don't be afraid to ask others who are in your point B currently, "How did you get there?" Take risks, do what's best for you, and never stop planning. Remember, everything happens for a reason. Someone once told me, luck is where opportunity meets preparation. How prepared are you to meet opportunity?
As we get older and wiser, for most of us, having a "Plan B" is a necessity in life and a key to success. With the recent recession and America's economic troubles, anyone without a "Plan B" is more than likely doomed. Many of us go through life determined to achieve our goals and be successful in everything that we do. We graduate college, move on to the next hurdle, whether that be graduate school, applying for graduate school, starting a new "glamorous" job, or searching for the glamour, or just plain dead-ended. Sometimes, after Plan A doesn't work out, then it's time to embark on "Plan B," or define what that next plan will be.
Although "Plan B" can still be a scary thing, it's better to have multiple plans than none at all. The unknown is always difficult for us to accept because it's unmarked territory. Ask yourself, "What are my plans?" "What are all the ways I can get from point A to point B?" Don't be afraid to ask others who are in your point B currently, "How did you get there?" Take risks, do what's best for you, and never stop planning. Remember, everything happens for a reason. Someone once told me, luck is where opportunity meets preparation. How prepared are you to meet opportunity?
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