Being black in America has never been an easygoing life—there has always been some form of an epidemic killing the population by the masses. In the 1930’s and 1980's it was syphilis; in the new millennium it’s the HIV/AIDS virus. Black Americans are often portrayed as over sexualized beings and the transmission of sexually transmitted infections seems to support this negative portrayal.
According to the New York Times, approximately 600,000 African-Americans are living with HIV and up to 30,000 are being infected each year. “If black America were a country, it would rank 16th in the world in the number of people living with the AIDS virus, the Black Institute says,” (New York Times, 7/30/08). Why are African-Americans being more affected by the virus than the general population? Are sexual habits really that different than those of European, Asian, Hispanic, or Indian decent? Is drug use/needle-sharing really a large contributor to the transmission of the virus within the black community? The numbers are staggering and ever-climbing.
Did you know that the U.S. government donates funds to fifteen countries around the world, including Ethiopia, Rwanda, Vietnam, and Haiti through an anti-AIDS program? Meanwhile, more blacks are living with AIDS than seven of the fifteen countries receiving aid from the U.S. government. There is something totally wrong with this picture. Kanye West said, “Bush hates black people,” but do we love ourselves? If we did, we would be fighting for our politicians to put this community epidemic on the agenda for change and funding. How can we help ourselves?
1. (Actively) Practice SAFE sex.
2. Call your girlfriends or your crew out on their failure to practice safe sex.
3. Educate yourself and your friends: search the Internet for information, see how other countries are tackling the AIDS epidemic and adopt some of their practices or demand that our government do so.
4. Most importantly, KNOW YOUR STATUS! Get tested every six months (that’s twice a year) even if your not sexually active all year round. There are plenty of places that offer FREE and quick testing.
Friday, August 1, 2008
Endangered Species...
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
In the Presence of Greatness!
While in our nation's capitol, greatness has surrounded my every move. A couple of days ago, I was given the opportunity to sit inside Senator Obama's office in the Capitol Building and it was breathtaking to say the least. I was surrounded by his family photos, photos of Senator Obama and other monumental persons, such as Nelson Mandela, and artwork that illustrated his personality and values. A person's personal space encompasses elements of their family life, and interests--you really get a peak into the human element of a person that many admire and even idolize. How did Senator Obama achieve the heights of greatness? How does it feel to be in his shoes?
Being in the presence of greatness forces one to think of how surprising life consistently proves itself to be. Every single day, people like you and me are faced with opportunities of a lifetime. We can either choose to take advantage of those opportunities or we can be hesitant and purposely or mistakenly remove ourselves from the spotlight. It's more than okay to shine. As women, and as people, we should support each other and motivate each other to do more than we would push ourselves to accomplish.
Senator Obama did not become the Democratic Presidential Nominee on his own--people supported him and pushed him along the way. We need to learn to support and push our peers to be excellent in all that they do. Let go of your personal pride and stop sipping that Haterade. When another woman shines you should cheer because we are in this together. If another brother or sister graduates or is faced with the opportunity of an excellent position with a company out of this world, we should be their cheerleaders. You never know---we could be grooming the next community lawyer, doctor, educator, researcher, designer, or even the next president of the United States.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
"Plan B"
Back in the day, if one of my friends mentioned subscribing to "Plan B," I would've swore up and down that they just left Planned Parenthood and had to take the pill because they failed to take the necessary precautions the first time around. "Plan B" was always described as something scary--why couldn't you get it right the first time? Why didn't you prepare and plan for Plan A to be successful?
As we get older and wiser, for most of us, having a "Plan B" is a necessity in life and a key to success. With the recent recession and America's economic troubles, anyone without a "Plan B" is more than likely doomed. Many of us go through life determined to achieve our goals and be successful in everything that we do. We graduate college, move on to the next hurdle, whether that be graduate school, applying for graduate school, starting a new "glamorous" job, or searching for the glamour, or just plain dead-ended. Sometimes, after Plan A doesn't work out, then it's time to embark on "Plan B," or define what that next plan will be.
Although "Plan B" can still be a scary thing, it's better to have multiple plans than none at all. The unknown is always difficult for us to accept because it's unmarked territory. Ask yourself, "What are my plans?" "What are all the ways I can get from point A to point B?" Don't be afraid to ask others who are in your point B currently, "How did you get there?" Take risks, do what's best for you, and never stop planning. Remember, everything happens for a reason. Someone once told me, luck is where opportunity meets preparation. How prepared are you to meet opportunity?
As we get older and wiser, for most of us, having a "Plan B" is a necessity in life and a key to success. With the recent recession and America's economic troubles, anyone without a "Plan B" is more than likely doomed. Many of us go through life determined to achieve our goals and be successful in everything that we do. We graduate college, move on to the next hurdle, whether that be graduate school, applying for graduate school, starting a new "glamorous" job, or searching for the glamour, or just plain dead-ended. Sometimes, after Plan A doesn't work out, then it's time to embark on "Plan B," or define what that next plan will be.
Although "Plan B" can still be a scary thing, it's better to have multiple plans than none at all. The unknown is always difficult for us to accept because it's unmarked territory. Ask yourself, "What are my plans?" "What are all the ways I can get from point A to point B?" Don't be afraid to ask others who are in your point B currently, "How did you get there?" Take risks, do what's best for you, and never stop planning. Remember, everything happens for a reason. Someone once told me, luck is where opportunity meets preparation. How prepared are you to meet opportunity?
Friday, June 27, 2008
Degrading Comedy? Or Just a Good Laugh?
Lately, I have notice the making of movies and television shows that are borderline degrading and full of cultural stereotypes. Movies such as, “You Don’t Mess With The Zohan,” “The Love Guru,” and “Baby Mama.” “You Don’t Mess With Zohan,” portrays countless stereotypes of Israeli and Pakistani people; the main actors are all white, mainstream comedy actors, such as Adam Sandler and Rob Schneider (Deuce Bigalow). In this movie, Zohan is very sexual and a lover of hummus to the point where he brushes his teeth with hummus. “The Love Guru,” portrays stereotypes surrounding the Indian culture and practices. Not to mention Television shows such as “Aliens in America,” which portrays the life of an Indian family in the States in a “comedic” way; this show aired on prime time television. I had to ask myself, and others are these movies and the television shows a step forward or backward?
For decades, African-Americans have been heavily stereotyped and ostracized in the media, especially in television and film. In the 1840s, there was black-face minstrelsy, and today it seems like we as a people don’t need others to pretend to be African-Americans and make stereotypical jokes about our culture, however, black people now play those stereotypical roles and continue to help others to perceive us to be a people who don’t take care of their family responsibilities, overweight, “ghetto,” loud and obnoxious, and just plain unintelligent. Of course there are some African-American actors/actresses who refuse to play these roles, and I commend them for that. How can we move forward?
About a year ago, I was enrolled in a Cultural Communication class and I was forced to ask myself, “What is my culture? What does it mean to be black in America?” The latter was not as difficult to answer. It’s a simple task to define the experiences of blacks in America—the good, the bad, and the ugly. However, it’s not as easy to define what our culture consists of. If you allow the media to answer, it’s not a good look; black people are living in the hood, on welfare, recovering from a drug addiction or dying in one, and we all carry guns. Now, I’m not saying that there’s anything wrong with someone experiencing these hardships or triumphs, but they are not all we’re made of. Unlike most people in this country, our people were forced to be here. We have lost many of our native languages, and sadly, our customs.
Is it okay for society to accept “comedy” at the expense of offending our various cultures? Should we accept this “comedy?” Is it degrading or just plain hilarious? Or, is it both?
For decades, African-Americans have been heavily stereotyped and ostracized in the media, especially in television and film. In the 1840s, there was black-face minstrelsy, and today it seems like we as a people don’t need others to pretend to be African-Americans and make stereotypical jokes about our culture, however, black people now play those stereotypical roles and continue to help others to perceive us to be a people who don’t take care of their family responsibilities, overweight, “ghetto,” loud and obnoxious, and just plain unintelligent. Of course there are some African-American actors/actresses who refuse to play these roles, and I commend them for that. How can we move forward?
About a year ago, I was enrolled in a Cultural Communication class and I was forced to ask myself, “What is my culture? What does it mean to be black in America?” The latter was not as difficult to answer. It’s a simple task to define the experiences of blacks in America—the good, the bad, and the ugly. However, it’s not as easy to define what our culture consists of. If you allow the media to answer, it’s not a good look; black people are living in the hood, on welfare, recovering from a drug addiction or dying in one, and we all carry guns. Now, I’m not saying that there’s anything wrong with someone experiencing these hardships or triumphs, but they are not all we’re made of. Unlike most people in this country, our people were forced to be here. We have lost many of our native languages, and sadly, our customs.
Is it okay for society to accept “comedy” at the expense of offending our various cultures? Should we accept this “comedy?” Is it degrading or just plain hilarious? Or, is it both?
Monday, June 23, 2008
It's Time to Invest in You...
How many of us have fallen for the credit card schemes of Visa, MasterCard, and even worse, our favorite store cards? It can be a mess if you allow yourself to continuously bury your financial freedom in a hole. I remember taking a personal finance class my senior year of high school and hearing over and over the risks of signing up for credit cards, and the pain and agony they can cause if they get out of hand, etc... Less than a year later, I found myself a freshman in college, $2500 in debt---and pulling my hair out. It was a nightmare to say the least.
Believe it or not, whether you currently find your finances in a bind or you have been there and done that, there are numerous ways for you to unbury your financial freedom and/or keep it on track. One of the most important things you must do is invest in yourself. I know you're probably wondering how you can "save, save, save!" if you're constantly paying off credit card debt and/or your student loans. It's time that you did some research on how much you're paying in interest on all of your credit card balances, as well as your student loans. If the interest is extremely high, it's more important at this point in your life to make a financial plan to pay off those debts rather than placing your money in a savings account that is earning way less interest than your credit cards are charging.
I have always said, "It's hard to invest money if you don't have any to play with," and this is often the case for a lot of us. A friend once told me I should enjoy being able to take care of myself financially. If we are more responsible with our finances and more conscious of the consequences of our spending habits we will be more capable of achieving financial freedom and happiness--on our own. In other words, it's our time ladies, and men, to get it together so we can truly state that we are capable of being independent.
In order to work toward your goals, I strongly suggest you pick up a copy of Suze Orman's The Money Book for the Young, Fabulous, and Broke. She gives some good pointers and answers to questions about finances for young professionals. Chapter 5, titled "Save Up," is very helpful in recommending lifestyle changes that can put you on the path toward financial freedom.
Think on it: "Success is not soley about making more money. It's about knowing where the money you make is going,"--Suze Orman.
Steps to Free Yourself:
Believe it or not, whether you currently find your finances in a bind or you have been there and done that, there are numerous ways for you to unbury your financial freedom and/or keep it on track. One of the most important things you must do is invest in yourself. I know you're probably wondering how you can "save, save, save!" if you're constantly paying off credit card debt and/or your student loans. It's time that you did some research on how much you're paying in interest on all of your credit card balances, as well as your student loans. If the interest is extremely high, it's more important at this point in your life to make a financial plan to pay off those debts rather than placing your money in a savings account that is earning way less interest than your credit cards are charging.
I have always said, "It's hard to invest money if you don't have any to play with," and this is often the case for a lot of us. A friend once told me I should enjoy being able to take care of myself financially. If we are more responsible with our finances and more conscious of the consequences of our spending habits we will be more capable of achieving financial freedom and happiness--on our own. In other words, it's our time ladies, and men, to get it together so we can truly state that we are capable of being independent.
In order to work toward your goals, I strongly suggest you pick up a copy of Suze Orman's The Money Book for the Young, Fabulous, and Broke. She gives some good pointers and answers to questions about finances for young professionals. Chapter 5, titled "Save Up," is very helpful in recommending lifestyle changes that can put you on the path toward financial freedom.
Think on it: "Success is not soley about making more money. It's about knowing where the money you make is going,"--Suze Orman.
Steps to Free Yourself:
- Keep track of how much money you're spending on a weekly/monthly basis, and what you're spending the most on; Ask yourself can you cut back in any way?
- Budgets can be compared to diet fads--they often don't work; so as with dieting, be real with yourself.
- Create a plan to pay off your credit cards--and fast. According to most finance websites and books, your credit score will suffer if you close accounts, however, it will flourish if you pay the cards off.
- As difficult as it may be, you must learn to live within your means.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
I am...Superwoman.
Too often we find ourselves trying to take over the world--every single day. We are masters of juggling the many work and/or school demands, our families, friends, you know, the works. I distinctly recall having 12-16 hour days at least 2-3 times a week while in undergrad. I had to not only join 50 million clubs/organizations, but I had to run them. Believe it or not, there's a name for what we seem to do effortlessly on a daily basis and it's called Superwoman Syndrome. Superwoman Syndrome can get the best of you if you allow it to take over your existence.
Now allow me to break it down for you. Superwoman Syndrome is often experienced by young black women. As a result of being twice the minority--female and black--we feel as though we have to always work twice as hard and do twice as much in order to be successful. I'm not discrediting this need; in the U.S., women earn 75.5 cents to every dollar men earn. As an African-American woman, it's often more difficult to get our foot in the door, and when we're in there we have to "prove ourselves" to everyone--even our own sisters. We have to be the best at what we do or our opportunities for advancement can seem almost impossible to achieve.
As African-American women, we have learned to be extremely protective of our family members. This can range from always being prepared to stick up for our family no matter what, to always supporting them in any way possible--including financially. We will even go to the poorhouse and back being generous.
While always trying to please others, day in and day out, when do we take time out for ourselves? How do we manage to keep our stress levels under control? If we fail to do so, we can experience anything from hair loss to anxiety attacks. We must learn to put ourselves first and never place our sanity in danger.
Here are some tips to come out on top:
Now allow me to break it down for you. Superwoman Syndrome is often experienced by young black women. As a result of being twice the minority--female and black--we feel as though we have to always work twice as hard and do twice as much in order to be successful. I'm not discrediting this need; in the U.S., women earn 75.5 cents to every dollar men earn. As an African-American woman, it's often more difficult to get our foot in the door, and when we're in there we have to "prove ourselves" to everyone--even our own sisters. We have to be the best at what we do or our opportunities for advancement can seem almost impossible to achieve.
As African-American women, we have learned to be extremely protective of our family members. This can range from always being prepared to stick up for our family no matter what, to always supporting them in any way possible--including financially. We will even go to the poorhouse and back being generous.
While always trying to please others, day in and day out, when do we take time out for ourselves? How do we manage to keep our stress levels under control? If we fail to do so, we can experience anything from hair loss to anxiety attacks. We must learn to put ourselves first and never place our sanity in danger.
Here are some tips to come out on top:
- Realize that although you may be able to do everything, it's not always the best option.
- Prioritize: identify your values and make them number one in your life. Ask yourself, is everything consistent?
- Make lists every day: what would you like to accomplish today? What can you realistically accomplish today?
- Most importantly, love yourself: make time for some "me time."
Friday, May 30, 2008
Love...
What does love mean? Where does the feeling originate?
My whole life I have always known and felt love, desired to know love even more, which made me want to search for it more and more as I grew older. We all search for it, and sometimes we find it in the weirdest places--but we find it, or it finds us.
We go through our whole lives not knowing if it's "real" or if it's "fake." Is he THE one? Can we touch love? Maybe. Life without love is not life at all--we all need it to survive. We try to build walls around ourselves, to shield the pain and the potential disappointments, but in the end if we refuse to let love in we will be alone and miserable. No matter what anyone says, nobody wants to be alone in this world--it's scary out there!
We learn that we love differently throughout the phases of our lives and this it's exciting. It's exciting to have that "glow," to feel like someone needs you, to smile and know that when it's all over we have lived, loved, and grown all through love.
Love is passion. Be prepared to give a little and take a little too. Don't be afraid to love like you've never been hurt. Nobody said it would be easy, but hey, it's a part of life.
Love is a necessity. To love is to let go of your fears and live for the moment and not care what people think of you. To love is to embrace kindness and not be afraid of an argument or a difference in perception.
Love is overwhelming. To love is to allow ourselves to be high on life and cherish the moments we have with those we share love with.
Love is a challenge. To love is to forgive and to start over.
It's too easy to let people go and to never look back when they hurt you or disappoint you. Sometimes, this is necessary because the love bond may not be mutual; however, it's important to evaluate the situation and commit to love. Love is not perfect because the people who partake in it are just that---people. People make mistakes and still have the heart to continue on and continue loving one another.
No matter what your situation, or what you are going through, remember to love yourself first as a creation of God, accept that you will make mistakes, and the hardest part is you must allow yourself to be an active participant with love. What do you really want? How do you love? Learn to trust yourself and trust that God's plan for you is extraordinary. Believe it or not, love will flow in, but only if you let it.
Live for today. Love for tomorrow.
My whole life I have always known and felt love, desired to know love even more, which made me want to search for it more and more as I grew older. We all search for it, and sometimes we find it in the weirdest places--but we find it, or it finds us.
We go through our whole lives not knowing if it's "real" or if it's "fake." Is he THE one? Can we touch love? Maybe. Life without love is not life at all--we all need it to survive. We try to build walls around ourselves, to shield the pain and the potential disappointments, but in the end if we refuse to let love in we will be alone and miserable. No matter what anyone says, nobody wants to be alone in this world--it's scary out there!
We learn that we love differently throughout the phases of our lives and this it's exciting. It's exciting to have that "glow," to feel like someone needs you, to smile and know that when it's all over we have lived, loved, and grown all through love.
Love is passion. Be prepared to give a little and take a little too. Don't be afraid to love like you've never been hurt. Nobody said it would be easy, but hey, it's a part of life.
Love is a necessity. To love is to let go of your fears and live for the moment and not care what people think of you. To love is to embrace kindness and not be afraid of an argument or a difference in perception.
Love is overwhelming. To love is to allow ourselves to be high on life and cherish the moments we have with those we share love with.
Love is a challenge. To love is to forgive and to start over.
It's too easy to let people go and to never look back when they hurt you or disappoint you. Sometimes, this is necessary because the love bond may not be mutual; however, it's important to evaluate the situation and commit to love. Love is not perfect because the people who partake in it are just that---people. People make mistakes and still have the heart to continue on and continue loving one another.
No matter what your situation, or what you are going through, remember to love yourself first as a creation of God, accept that you will make mistakes, and the hardest part is you must allow yourself to be an active participant with love. What do you really want? How do you love? Learn to trust yourself and trust that God's plan for you is extraordinary. Believe it or not, love will flow in, but only if you let it.
Live for today. Love for tomorrow.
Monday, May 26, 2008
For My Single Sistahs...
Single. Flyy. (And best of all) Sexy.
Whether you are single by choice or you were thrown in the lion's den unexpectedly, it's a jungle out here for us single sistahs. If you haven't realized it by now, men are on top of the world (and no, I'm not joking). They have so many of us to choose from and many times, they choose to pick more than one of us at any given time during their single episodes of life and sometimes during their "committed" episodes as well. Where do men get off getting off on multiple single sistahs?
Because you're single and you're a "big girl" now, you have to know that in the United States, African-American women are contracting HIV/AIDS at the highest/fastest rate within the country. Part of the blame is on our single or not-so-single brothers and even more to blame are ourselves. As a single sistah, it is your duty to look after yourself because you're all you've got. So wear a condom, make him get tested, and get in the wonderful habit of getting tested every six months whether you're active or not. I know it's hard to have "the talk" but "the talk" could save your life--time and time again, and relieve some tension. The point here is: take care yourself because no one else will.
Treat yourself and allow others to treat you. There is nothing wrong with allowing a man wine and dine you, or have a good, long, conversation with you. If you are single and searching for the next love of your life, you must interview and screen the men you are considering allowing to fulfill that role. Ask questions. Voice your concerns--don't be afraid to let him know what's on your mind. Obviously, things like this take time, so don't scare him away. Be patient and know that if it's meant to be, it will be.
Don't you hate when you're really feeling a guy and you're waiting by the phone for a text, a call--a something? You want to know that he's feeling you too and that you're not falling for nothing. This is perfectly normal. Try not to allow yourself to only consider him, especially if he's out here considering other options. We must learn to recognize our power as single sistahs and use it to our advantage--a guy will only attempt to get away with craziness if he thinks you'll go for it.
Lastly, know that it's okay to be SINGLE; there is no time limit for when you should be in a serious relationship, or married, etc... Know your goals, wants and needs and don't settle for less. It's important to think outside of your comfort zone and not exclude guys because they don't have the hottest car on the market or because they have a child. Be open and free to try something or someone different, but don't feel pressured to rush into something you're not ready for.
Whether you are single by choice or you were thrown in the lion's den unexpectedly, it's a jungle out here for us single sistahs. If you haven't realized it by now, men are on top of the world (and no, I'm not joking). They have so many of us to choose from and many times, they choose to pick more than one of us at any given time during their single episodes of life and sometimes during their "committed" episodes as well. Where do men get off getting off on multiple single sistahs?
Because you're single and you're a "big girl" now, you have to know that in the United States, African-American women are contracting HIV/AIDS at the highest/fastest rate within the country. Part of the blame is on our single or not-so-single brothers and even more to blame are ourselves. As a single sistah, it is your duty to look after yourself because you're all you've got. So wear a condom, make him get tested, and get in the wonderful habit of getting tested every six months whether you're active or not. I know it's hard to have "the talk" but "the talk" could save your life--time and time again, and relieve some tension. The point here is: take care yourself because no one else will.
Treat yourself and allow others to treat you. There is nothing wrong with allowing a man wine and dine you, or have a good, long, conversation with you. If you are single and searching for the next love of your life, you must interview and screen the men you are considering allowing to fulfill that role. Ask questions. Voice your concerns--don't be afraid to let him know what's on your mind. Obviously, things like this take time, so don't scare him away. Be patient and know that if it's meant to be, it will be.
Don't you hate when you're really feeling a guy and you're waiting by the phone for a text, a call--a something? You want to know that he's feeling you too and that you're not falling for nothing. This is perfectly normal. Try not to allow yourself to only consider him, especially if he's out here considering other options. We must learn to recognize our power as single sistahs and use it to our advantage--a guy will only attempt to get away with craziness if he thinks you'll go for it.
Lastly, know that it's okay to be SINGLE; there is no time limit for when you should be in a serious relationship, or married, etc... Know your goals, wants and needs and don't settle for less. It's important to think outside of your comfort zone and not exclude guys because they don't have the hottest car on the market or because they have a child. Be open and free to try something or someone different, but don't feel pressured to rush into something you're not ready for.
Curb your enthusiasm
Do you ever feel like you're just "going through the motions?" Whether it be with work, a relationship, or whatever, it's not a good feeling; it's just plain boring to be honest. If you're feeling down, it's time to make some changes and switch things up a bit. Try something different--go see a movie alone, when you go shopping try a new color than you usually do (don't be ashamed, my closet is black city!), or get a fresh, new, sassy haircut. Whatever feels plain and routine at the moment, think of ways to add some spice! There's no use in "going through the motions" from day-to-day. Life is too short and too exciting to miss out on all it has to offer.
Here are some pointers to get your started:
1. Every week, put something new on your agenda: the catch is, you must follow through with it.
2. Be more spontaneous: it's okay to get in your car and not have a clue as to where you're headed--well, maybe not with these gas prices, but just do it!
3. Journal: figure out whats really bugging you and get to the bottom of the problem.
4. Trust yourself.
Here are some pointers to get your started:
1. Every week, put something new on your agenda: the catch is, you must follow through with it.
2. Be more spontaneous: it's okay to get in your car and not have a clue as to where you're headed--well, maybe not with these gas prices, but just do it!
3. Journal: figure out whats really bugging you and get to the bottom of the problem.
4. Trust yourself.
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