For My Single Sistahs...

Single. Flyy. (And best of all) Sexy.

Whether you are single by choice or you were thrown in the lion's den unexpectedly, it's a jungle out here for us single sistahs. If you haven't realized it by now, men are on top of the world (and no, I'm not joking). They have so many of us to choose from and many times, they choose to pick more than one of us at any given time during their single episodes of life and sometimes during their "committed" episodes as well. Where do men get off getting off on multiple single sistahs?

Because you're single and you're a "big girl" now, you have to know that in the United States, African-American women are contracting HIV/AIDS at the highest/fastest rate within the country. Part of the blame is on our single or not-so-single brothers and even more to blame are ourselves. As a single sistah, it is your duty to look after yourself because you're all you've got. So wear a condom, make him get tested, and get in the wonderful habit of getting tested every six months whether you're active or not. I know it's hard to have "the talk" but "the talk" could save your life--time and time again, and relieve some tension. The point here is: take care yourself because no one else will.

Treat yourself and allow others to treat you. There is nothing wrong with allowing a man wine and dine you, or have a good, long, conversation with you. If you are single and searching for the next love of your life, you must interview and screen the men you are considering allowing to fulfill that role. Ask questions. Voice your concerns--don't be afraid to let him know what's on your mind. Obviously, things like this take time, so don't scare him away. Be patient and know that if it's meant to be, it will be.

Don't you hate when you're really feeling a guy and you're waiting by the phone for a text, a call--a something? You want to know that he's feeling you too and that you're not falling for nothing. This is perfectly normal. Try not to allow yourself to only consider him, especially if he's out here considering other options. We must learn to recognize our power as single sistahs and use it to our advantage--a guy will only attempt to get away with craziness if he thinks you'll go for it.

Lastly, know that it's okay to be SINGLE; there is no time limit for when you should be in a serious relationship, or married, etc... Know your goals, wants and needs and don't settle for less. It's important to think outside of your comfort zone and not exclude guys because they don't have the hottest car on the market or because they have a child. Be open and free to try something or someone different, but don't feel pressured to rush into something you're not ready for.