What does love mean? Where does the feeling originate?
My whole life I have always known and felt love, desired to know love even more, which made me want to search for it more and more as I grew older. We all search for it, and sometimes we find it in the weirdest places--but we find it, or it finds us.
We go through our whole lives not knowing if it's "real" or if it's "fake." Is he THE one? Can we touch love? Maybe. Life without love is not life at all--we all need it to survive. We try to build walls around ourselves, to shield the pain and the potential disappointments, but in the end if we refuse to let love in we will be alone and miserable. No matter what anyone says, nobody wants to be alone in this world--it's scary out there!
We learn that we love differently throughout the phases of our lives and this it's exciting. It's exciting to have that "glow," to feel like someone needs you, to smile and know that when it's all over we have lived, loved, and grown all through love.
Love is passion. Be prepared to give a little and take a little too. Don't be afraid to love like you've never been hurt. Nobody said it would be easy, but hey, it's a part of life.
Love is a necessity. To love is to let go of your fears and live for the moment and not care what people think of you. To love is to embrace kindness and not be afraid of an argument or a difference in perception.
Love is overwhelming. To love is to allow ourselves to be high on life and cherish the moments we have with those we share love with.
Love is a challenge. To love is to forgive and to start over.
It's too easy to let people go and to never look back when they hurt you or disappoint you. Sometimes, this is necessary because the love bond may not be mutual; however, it's important to evaluate the situation and commit to love. Love is not perfect because the people who partake in it are just that---people. People make mistakes and still have the heart to continue on and continue loving one another.
No matter what your situation, or what you are going through, remember to love yourself first as a creation of God, accept that you will make mistakes, and the hardest part is you must allow yourself to be an active participant with love. What do you really want? How do you love? Learn to trust yourself and trust that God's plan for you is extraordinary. Believe it or not, love will flow in, but only if you let it.
Live for today. Love for tomorrow.
Friday, May 30, 2008
Monday, May 26, 2008
For My Single Sistahs...
Single. Flyy. (And best of all) Sexy.
Whether you are single by choice or you were thrown in the lion's den unexpectedly, it's a jungle out here for us single sistahs. If you haven't realized it by now, men are on top of the world (and no, I'm not joking). They have so many of us to choose from and many times, they choose to pick more than one of us at any given time during their single episodes of life and sometimes during their "committed" episodes as well. Where do men get off getting off on multiple single sistahs?
Because you're single and you're a "big girl" now, you have to know that in the United States, African-American women are contracting HIV/AIDS at the highest/fastest rate within the country. Part of the blame is on our single or not-so-single brothers and even more to blame are ourselves. As a single sistah, it is your duty to look after yourself because you're all you've got. So wear a condom, make him get tested, and get in the wonderful habit of getting tested every six months whether you're active or not. I know it's hard to have "the talk" but "the talk" could save your life--time and time again, and relieve some tension. The point here is: take care yourself because no one else will.
Treat yourself and allow others to treat you. There is nothing wrong with allowing a man wine and dine you, or have a good, long, conversation with you. If you are single and searching for the next love of your life, you must interview and screen the men you are considering allowing to fulfill that role. Ask questions. Voice your concerns--don't be afraid to let him know what's on your mind. Obviously, things like this take time, so don't scare him away. Be patient and know that if it's meant to be, it will be.
Don't you hate when you're really feeling a guy and you're waiting by the phone for a text, a call--a something? You want to know that he's feeling you too and that you're not falling for nothing. This is perfectly normal. Try not to allow yourself to only consider him, especially if he's out here considering other options. We must learn to recognize our power as single sistahs and use it to our advantage--a guy will only attempt to get away with craziness if he thinks you'll go for it.
Lastly, know that it's okay to be SINGLE; there is no time limit for when you should be in a serious relationship, or married, etc... Know your goals, wants and needs and don't settle for less. It's important to think outside of your comfort zone and not exclude guys because they don't have the hottest car on the market or because they have a child. Be open and free to try something or someone different, but don't feel pressured to rush into something you're not ready for.
Whether you are single by choice or you were thrown in the lion's den unexpectedly, it's a jungle out here for us single sistahs. If you haven't realized it by now, men are on top of the world (and no, I'm not joking). They have so many of us to choose from and many times, they choose to pick more than one of us at any given time during their single episodes of life and sometimes during their "committed" episodes as well. Where do men get off getting off on multiple single sistahs?
Because you're single and you're a "big girl" now, you have to know that in the United States, African-American women are contracting HIV/AIDS at the highest/fastest rate within the country. Part of the blame is on our single or not-so-single brothers and even more to blame are ourselves. As a single sistah, it is your duty to look after yourself because you're all you've got. So wear a condom, make him get tested, and get in the wonderful habit of getting tested every six months whether you're active or not. I know it's hard to have "the talk" but "the talk" could save your life--time and time again, and relieve some tension. The point here is: take care yourself because no one else will.
Treat yourself and allow others to treat you. There is nothing wrong with allowing a man wine and dine you, or have a good, long, conversation with you. If you are single and searching for the next love of your life, you must interview and screen the men you are considering allowing to fulfill that role. Ask questions. Voice your concerns--don't be afraid to let him know what's on your mind. Obviously, things like this take time, so don't scare him away. Be patient and know that if it's meant to be, it will be.
Don't you hate when you're really feeling a guy and you're waiting by the phone for a text, a call--a something? You want to know that he's feeling you too and that you're not falling for nothing. This is perfectly normal. Try not to allow yourself to only consider him, especially if he's out here considering other options. We must learn to recognize our power as single sistahs and use it to our advantage--a guy will only attempt to get away with craziness if he thinks you'll go for it.
Lastly, know that it's okay to be SINGLE; there is no time limit for when you should be in a serious relationship, or married, etc... Know your goals, wants and needs and don't settle for less. It's important to think outside of your comfort zone and not exclude guys because they don't have the hottest car on the market or because they have a child. Be open and free to try something or someone different, but don't feel pressured to rush into something you're not ready for.
Curb your enthusiasm
Do you ever feel like you're just "going through the motions?" Whether it be with work, a relationship, or whatever, it's not a good feeling; it's just plain boring to be honest. If you're feeling down, it's time to make some changes and switch things up a bit. Try something different--go see a movie alone, when you go shopping try a new color than you usually do (don't be ashamed, my closet is black city!), or get a fresh, new, sassy haircut. Whatever feels plain and routine at the moment, think of ways to add some spice! There's no use in "going through the motions" from day-to-day. Life is too short and too exciting to miss out on all it has to offer.
Here are some pointers to get your started:
1. Every week, put something new on your agenda: the catch is, you must follow through with it.
2. Be more spontaneous: it's okay to get in your car and not have a clue as to where you're headed--well, maybe not with these gas prices, but just do it!
3. Journal: figure out whats really bugging you and get to the bottom of the problem.
4. Trust yourself.
Here are some pointers to get your started:
1. Every week, put something new on your agenda: the catch is, you must follow through with it.
2. Be more spontaneous: it's okay to get in your car and not have a clue as to where you're headed--well, maybe not with these gas prices, but just do it!
3. Journal: figure out whats really bugging you and get to the bottom of the problem.
4. Trust yourself.
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